Yesterday was such a bad day!!! I know God has His reasons for everything, but I found myself asking "why us"? Why Matt's Cancer and then Ben? Why does my baby have to endure this torture? I love the Lord with all my heart and I know through this we will grow stronger but man was I bummed yesterday.
We need prayer but specifically Matt and I need to remain united through this and we are trying not to fight but to be truthful we have been. It is so easy to take out anger on each other while we are going through this. It breaks my heart because I really can be nasty when I am frustrated and I have been taking it out on him and Matt is so gentle in spirit normally, but he is so stressed right now that even he has been not so nice. I hate it when we are not getting along. So pray for our marriage during this time because it is not easy and we are far from the end so am I sure that yesterday will not be the only bad day.
We are still at the hospital and hoping for release soon. Ben's ANC count (a multiplication of his white blood cells and his neutriphils) was zero today and they will not release us until they come up.
Ben is having a hard time the last few days. He really misses his Daddy and when Matt comes to the hospital it for such a short amount of time(Matt has been staying home to keep the company afloat) that Ben has a breakdown because he misses him so much. So Ben needs prayer for just coping. He also is a big fatty now :) He has gained almost nine pounds!!! He just eats like crazy on these steroids. We will send pics as soon as we get our camera here.
Love you all for your prayer support!!
Jamie
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